Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What would you change in Rings of Power?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

Is it possible for the U.S. government to get rid of the constitution for national safety?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

I can read

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why does my girlfriend keep asking me if I love her?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If you could instantly cancel one social norm, what would it be?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What type of fish is best for fish tacos?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How can I get my ex-husband to love me again?

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

How do the youth in Taiwan perceive their national identity in relation to China?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What are incels doing wrong?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Is the 4B movement's aggressiveness against men for seeing women as mantelpieces valid?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: